The Battle of Beards
Fantasy Mega Battle Championships, Game 1

	Battle Report: The Challenge Strateegery Turn 1 Turn 2 Turn 3 Turn 4 Turn 5 Recap

The Challenge:

Gary: The idea of having a Chaos Dwarf - Dwarf mega-battle came about over a few pints of beer at Mustang Sallys in Manhattan after a full night of 40K at Neutral Ground. We were discussing how tough Chaos Dwarves were and I believe Herb said he could beat Chaos Dwarves with a Dwarf army and one hand tied behind his back. It must have been the beer talking. Anyway after a little bit of spouting from Matt, Nidal and Herb, a challenge was raised and before you knew it a 15,000-point Dwarf mega-battle was in the works. I don't think Herb knew what he was up against at the time but I have played Matt and Nidal with their Chaos Dwarves before and it is always ugly. First, Chaos Dwarves are one of the most difficult armies to win against in Warhammer. Chaos Dwarves can get 2 point goblins, strength 6 cavalry, blunderbusses, sneaky gits and tough flying monsters. Second, Matt & Nidal have been playing Chaos Dwarves for about 20 years now and they have mastered their tactics. Third, playing with Dwarves is a huge disadvantage. They are always hopelessly outnumbered, have no mobility, no cavalry, no flying monsters and expensive war machines that always misfire (with my dice throwing). You always get charged first and strike last. When you are outnumbered you constantly get hit in the flank and lose your rank bonus, especially against experienced players like Matt & Nidal. I love the Dwarves, I love the models but I hardly ever win with them which is why I am playing High Elves now. Fourth, Matt & Nidal are very good dice rollers. Matt is an above average roller. During my last battle with Matt, he needed snake eyes or else his big Chaos Dwarf unit and General were going to run off the board. What did he roll? Snake eyes. Nidal on the other hand sold his soul to the dice god a long time ago. The best dice roller I have ever seen. Need to hit? Need to wound? Need to make an armor save or a leadership test? No problem. Misfire? He doesn't know how. Scatter? Only into another one of my units. He only has one bad dice rolling game a year and it is never when I play him. You know the type.

So why did I accept the Chaos Dwarf challenge? Because I'm a masochist and I had the opportunity to team with Herb Stelzer, an honorary Warmonger from the great state of Pennsylvania by way of Caps Comics. It's always a special event when Herb visits our club. Not only is Herb a great guy but he is a lot of fun to play. The only draw back playing with Herb is that he is the only player I know who is a worse dice roller than I am. Two Dwarf players who can't roll dice to save their lives playing against two very experienced Chaos Dwarf players? Sounds like madness and certain defeat but Herb and I thought we could give Matt and Nidal a fight so we agreed to the game. It must have been the beer.

Herb: I enjoy playing large games, there is a different feel to them and the thought of controlling large armies is just a gas. So Gary and I, two notoriously bad rollers decide to play the Chaos Dwarfs. Not really understanding what I was getting into, I accepted or initiated the mega-battle challenge, I don't really remember which, as Gary, said musta been the beer! The challenge gave me a reason to come and visit the Warmongers again, something I always thoroughly enjoy. Ass whoopins' aside, the spirit of the game is fully in evidence there. I also heard the rep of my opponents! The dwarfs had nothing to lose! We were expected to lose by just about the whole club. The chance for glory and a little nose rubbin' was too good to pass up. That said the gauntlet was thrown, and eagerly picked up I might add. Bring it on I said, realizing the old ignorance is bliss theory. I also thought teaming with my new friend Gary might prove to cancel each others bad luck out. Good one Herb.

Matt: How could I refuse a challenge like this? 15,000 points of Dwarves on 1 table, with 2 of the most feared Warmonger fantasy armies teamed against possibly the 2 worst die rolling, unluckiest players I've ever seen? It would have been most dishonorable to turn down such a challenge! I scraped together every model I had, and even that wasn't enough to make the army I'd have wanted. In the end Nidal and I spent almost 25% of our points on characters just to make points, including 2 (we assumed cannon fodder) Bull Taurus to round it out.

Nidal: 7,500 points? Per side? Hell yeah! I can finally field my unit of forty-something black orks.. and add even more of Matt's black orks, to boot! Units and units of wolfriders, death rockets, earthshakers, bull centaurs... how could I decline? One BIG battle, using one army composition chart.. in effect, a real game! How could I say no?!?!?!?