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Jarrett's Necronomicon 2007 Battle Report
Game 4 Liberated! After losing game 3 I was completely free to suck the rest of the tournament, go to the hot tub and drown, drink till I died, etc. With Rob 3-0 I became his cheerleader, figuring myself solidly mid-pack, and drank up spending most of Saturday night in the hot tub playing footsie with the fellas. I had a superbly relaxing evening of intoxication, and woke up Sunday refreshed with a mild headache, and optimistic about trying to salvage my record by winning my next two games. A cup of coffee fixed all, and I searched for my table, smack in the middle of all the action, nowhere near anyone important. Except sleeper Rob... Opponent: Mark Hillier I was surprised to be playing a 3rd Empire army, but their sheer variety of troops and builds had me curious from the go. And once again I encountered something entirely different from my previous games. At the start of the game I offered Mark my army list which he gladly accepted. I received none in return, so I may be a bit off on his item selection. Mark took: an Empire General on Griffon w/ Sword of Might and Holy Relic, Level 2 Mage w/ a scroll(?) & Bound Burning Head, a Level 2 Mage w/ Rod of Power, 2x 10 Empire Kights w/ Full Command, 25 Spearmen w/ 5x Halberdiers & 5 Crossbowmen, 2x 10 Handgunners w/ Musicians & Hochland Champions, Imperial Giant, Great Cannon, Ogre Maneater w/ Great Weapon. Mark and company Mark had his bases covered. His army certainly had enough combined shooting and magic to force me to him, and between his two monsters and beefy knight units he had the projection to reach and blow through pretty much any of my units. I had a healthy respect of empire knights after my second game, and was more concerned about misdirecting and pummeling these than taking care of his other units. Skinks work against giants and griffons well enough, so for them it was just a matter of mitigating damage. I figured he'd play at wearing me down and hitting me with a counterpunch, but then there were the objectives... Now an aside: One thing I always do before I start a tournament game is ask my opponent if he knows the lizardmen or has any questions. Most of the time I'll get maybe one question if any at all, and the game proceeds normally. I did the same this game, and Mark, reviewing my list, may have had one or two item questions which I answered. I then say, "don't hesitate to ask me if you're curious or need to know anything about my army." I work in customer service, this catch-all usually works to mitigate problems. And herein the coddling ends. Mark won the roll for table sides and chose the side with a hill far to my right. A woods nearby would mitigate the hills firepower, but it did grant him good coverage of that 1/3 of the table. He deployed both handgunner units there overlooking one of the objectives, his maneater nearby. As per usual I spread my skinks first, denying him any true sense of my battleline. I threw one unit of saurus right early figuring they could hoof it and keep pressure on the handguns. Once I saw heavy commitment to my left I matched it with my kroxigors and stegadon which went behind a hill (after we determined that they blocked LOS for all monsters). This also covered 2 out of 3 objectives. Objective: get the caffeine! One unit of terradons positioned itself centrally to hit the cannon 2nd turn, and the other was tasked with either handgun or mage hunting. I sprinkled my characters throughout my lines, my all important priest taking cover behind a house as per usual. Much to my surprise, Mark put his Griffon to my far right seemingly to make a fast bid for that wide open objective. Yellow on black on yellow on black crime must come to an end... We rolled off for first turn and Mark seized the initiative. His knights made an advance towards the central objective marker, his Griffon flying right and angling in for a second turn pounce on that objective should it not be central. Mark, having selected Shadows, opened his magic with a Heebie-Jeebies (whatever that Cause Fear spell is) on his leftmost knights. I let this through. On his central knights he cast a total powered Unseen Lurker and seized the middle objective. I was actually glad of this as there was a decent chance it was the real one, and I wanted it not to be the furthest as he could then hole up and blast away. He rolled a 4+ and it was indeed! My oldblood took an unlikely charge on the objective occupying knights and wound up advancing towards them (it was a risk free attempt). My stegadon did likewise. I maneuvered a unit of skinks in front of the knights in a crescent to redirect them and offer their flank to kroxigors. I was being very careful about positioning and he took notice. Mark asked, "What are you doing?" "Redirecting your knights." "How?" "Well, if I flee they've got to direct their charge in a line towards the closest visible skirmisher as per the FAQ." "No, they'll just move forward." "Not if I flee." "What?" He seemed miffed. "Here's the FAQ." I found the page and let him read it over. Ding! I began my advance elsewhere, saurus to the far right moving towards the handgunners on the hill. My rightmost skinks moved to intercept his maneater cutting towards the main battle, out of charge ranges. Centrally, I advanced one unit of terradons left behind the hill. I angled them to barely see Mark's cannon around the hills lip, while out of LOS of his other units. My kroxigors took up a position behind the hill to cover it should the giant begin to crest, skink screen in place. My bsb failed stupidity and shuffled forward directly. My salamanders and a saurus unit containing my general and bsb held back on the left, waiting for his advance and keeping out of that 14" knight projection. I shot a single salamander at the giant to no avail and my first turn ended. Mark, after learning something about skirmishers, shuffled his knights on the right back a few inches. His griffon, keeping to his backfield, flew towards the main area of battle, as did his maneater approaching my skinks. In the center his one infantry block advanced to support his knights, his giant alongside. Mark's leftmost knights, still causing fear, moved onto the hill in a challenge to half my army. Mark's magic phase opened with another total power, this time for Heebie-Jeebies on the surrounded knight unit. His next spell was an Unseen Lurker, this time on the giant, intended to muck up my battle line on the left. Grabbing my dispel dice firmly and thinking "dispel scroll, no more total power, dispel scroll..." in my head, Mark rolled to cast. Double 1's, a miscast*. I sighed my relief and he rolled for the results. A two... Uh oh. Mark checked the chart. Boom. Mark's mage exploded taking 2 imperial knights with him. *9/10 Skink Priest caddies prefer miscasts to total powers. I think that mage is having a bad influence on your ability to not explode: Mark peppered my rightmost saurus killing several, and failed to hit a sweet cannon shot on the salamanders. Skinks took a couple of casualties, and that ended his turn 2. Well, now it was lizard time. I charged my Stegadon and Oldblood into Mark's objective holding knights. Terradons declared against Mark's cannon in the corner, while my other unit charged the front of his spears which contained a mage. My kroxigors declared against his knights on the hill through the newly cleared path, as did my not-stupid BSB from the saurus. "They can charge through the skinks?" "Uh, yes." "They can see them?" "You're on a hill." And therein I believe I lost the sportsmanship phase. All the charges hit, my krox going through skinks and my BSB wheeling around. My skink screen passed its leadership test and maneuvered to flank the giant, shortblows (the 5th edition blowgun) ready. I moved my rightmost skinks aggressively towards Mark's maneater. My rightmost saurus infantry continued their implacable advance, center saurus staying put out of the giant and spearmen's charge range, and the leftmost shuffling over a bit. My sallies prepared to ignite the giant. On my right my skinks apparently dabbed their darts with extra poison killing Mark's maneater outright. I managed a couple of wounds on the giant from my skinks and salamanders. The proper application of can openers... uh... opens cans I blew through both Mark's knight units causing massive casualties and breaking both. On the left I crossfired them with the salamanders, the pursuit capturing a standard. On the right both my oldblood and stegadon fell short, and their pursuit prevented them from picking up the treasure. Another standard gained. My terradons hit the spears like a flock of premenstrual vaginas, causing only one wound on the mage they were endeavoring to assassinate. They lost one of their number and hit and ran to safety to review their Magekill: 101 handbooks. Flank-o-saurus Mark wore his displeasure like a clown's makeup, but endeavored to make the best of his remaining troops. His spears edged away from my closes units, while a halberdier detachment maneuvered to flank my Stegadon. Mark's Griffon General swooped over to face the rear of both my oldblood and stegadon, also landing on the objective, preparing to make any attempt at finishing the knights cost me. His magic generally ineffective, more gunfire ripped into the saurus and skinks on my right to no avail as all refused to panic. Let's get em boys, he's not so big from this angle! The griffon prepares to mate with fellow monster. Dinosaurs evolved into birds you know... I charged the noodledons at the mage again, hoping round 2 against the mage would finish him. This time only one bird would fit due to model-maximization. My stegadon turned to face the Griffon-lord as skinks edged in, while my Oldblood leapt at the last 3 knights. The remainder of my units on the left maneuvered to surround Mark's spears and to fire at the Giant, as my terradons, finished with the cannon, flew hard into his crossbow detachment. Cocking their giant bow and prepping their javelins, my stegadon and a slew of skinks poured fire into Mark's Griffon and Empire General, my last priority target. While the general emerged unscathed, the griffon fell out from under him, dead and green from poison. The Giant was made utterly dead by massed skink and salamander firepower. I performed the terradon combat in Mark's backfield first, blowing through the crossbows and pursuing into the knights for a follow up round. My Oldblood managed only a single kill though I suffered no wounds in return, and tied in numbers, the knights fled off the table by the loss of one. The mage also died to the Terradons hit and run. Mark advanced his spears to prevent at least one unit of kroxigors from the charge. His halberds, aligned for the stegadon's flank, failed terror and reconsidered the prospect, running the opposite direction, The General tried to scurry off with the Nemesis Crown objective, encumbered as he was. Heavy lies the crown. I combi-charged the spears with kroxigors, saurus and the stegadon, maneuvering the Oldblood for a showdown with the Empire General. Face off! Terradons swooped onto the leftward handgunners as the saurus finally closed with those on the right. The rest of my army swung right to catch up, and my bsb insurance policy encompassed all engaged units. 11 spears died to my collective charges and, with little recourse, they fled. Due to the unit strength of the saurus on their flank, the spears ran directly through the Empire General and past the several skinks there. Failing to catch them, my pursuit nevertheless led the Stegadon directly into Mark's General. Mark's handgunners saw off the terradon charge during my turn. Revenge on their lips, his handgunners opened up point blank on my saurus and sent them away in a panic. All that marching for naught! His general fought the charging stegadon and weathered most attacks with armor provided by his hand weapon and shield. Rules aside, he then used his magic sword to attack my stegadon futilely, like the man screaming on the toilet in Jurassic Park. Losing combat, he fled from the monstrous beast and was trampled by its pursuit. There was something ironic about the martial genius of an army being run down by an acorn-brained beast, but it was lost on me. There's nothing worse than a stegadon to your rear. He's horny, tee hee! With little left and nearly my entire army approaching we called it after I moved onto the objective. Wait for us! The trail of crocodile tears... The engineers request armistice: Well, what can I say about that one. Mark making a bid for the objective with his Griffon on my right was a bit of a gamble as it's threat range may have stymied my aggression, and the delay let me deal with it singularly. I caught an early break with Mark's wizard exploding, and the objective's timely appearance midfield. After that Mark presented me with a few key charges, at least in part due to his lack of rules knowledge. Frankly, this was disappointing as, to attend a GT and compete, I feel you need to a) have a strong knowledge of the rules and/or at least b) be prepared and even eager to learn to play rules properly if you were not aware of them. He wasn't incompetent, but I could see this soured his game. Being aware of something as vital as an FAQ is really critical, and I felt sincerely bad (then angry) that Mark wasn't aware of such an update and seemed to confuse playing the game for being gamey. In the end of the game I asked if he had fun and he was just dead silent. Ah well, he's certainly aware now. 26 point massacre for the lizards!
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